Angie’s Adventures in … You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Angie’s Adventures in (You Can’t Make This Stuff Up)

This is my story of laughing at the adventures or pain points in my life. Now some people might take this as sad, sadistic and sometimes painful, but I have decided to laugh at my frustrations and pain points. Basically, I am tired of crying, so I laugh. It’s therapeutic and a little off the bean. So, I have come to the conclusion that something is wrong with my village… so then I am beginning to wonder what is wrong with me?

Again, this is supposed to be funny at least to me that sometimes my life is just ridiculous. And I apologize in advance for anyone offended. Again, my strange thinking that you can’t make this stuff up.

So, I will start out with just this week and in my world, it is only Wednesday.

I am an author, a pilot and cybersecurity geek (I like computers, games and coding). So, back to my week I like doing the puzzles, the boring tasks, every day and finding something exciting about it.

I work at a plant, warehouse building it is gated this info is just fyi in context of my week. I also work in another state than the one I live in. I decided I liked where I live and I didn’t mind the commute. Hence, the first issue or laughing point.

Summertime is construction time or what I like to call it the land of the orange barrels. You know the orange barrels with the white stripes that keep you in that lane that barely fits your car and the dare you go over the speed limit. Speaking of which where is that sign?

So, all weekend in the state I live in kept saying in news feed and the tv they were closing the highway so I was kinda prepared for the over the river and through the woods drive. I did not know it would add thirty minutes to my driving time.

Now I am going to backtrack for just a minute to the week before. Now the same state I live in played land of the orange barrels and closed one of the exits to one of the bridges for the other state. So supposedly me being the smart one followed GPS. The detours sent me to downtown of the other state and directly to a sink hole where the road was thank goodness closed.

I go to work at 4 am so just imagine the traffic jam of all these huge trucks also following the signs having to turn around. They probably thought like I did never doing that again.

That went on for three weeks because, maybe the other state didn’t tell GPS and I think, and this is just my opinion they were embarrassed about their giant sink hole (no you could lose a giant dump truck in that thing). So, I routed myself and no, I am not that familiar with the other state because I don’t live there and this went on for three weeks which brings us to this week.

Now this week again it is only Wednesday, I left home early in preparation for my over the river and through the woods drive and low and behold what a mess. After driving and being late by thirty minutes on Monday. I decided that this was a joke the roads were so bad I thought about two things: first why didn’t you fix this mess of roads first, before closing the highway? And my second thought was that this should be a tourist attraction for some of the raggiest, most dangerous roads? Maybe they could put out a flyer saying: Hey! Forget the mountains and hazardous terrain. We can take you on a journey with potholes, sinkholes and craters that will cause you to lose an axle or two and probably the fillings in your teeth. Forget that surgery after this everything will fall off or at least rearrange itself after this ride. And that was just the drive.

So, I get to work late, get a cup of coffee and two hours after I got there, they put out an alert for the area that there is a boil water alert. Don’t drink the water or make coffee or tea with it. You can wash your hands and use the restroom but don’t drink it so immediately my fun mind says hey what about the people who have for the past few hours been drinking water and ice and coffee. And aren’t we washing our hands with dirty water and rinsing it with dirty water. So, I bring out the hand sanitizer. They were nice enough to offer bottles of water where I work.

I’m just a mistrustful geek. I didn’t drink the water and when I got really thirsty, I went home to get water and stayed there. Again, my mind says you can’t make this stuff up. So, then I realized they served food in our cafeteria and it’s open. Are they boiling the water before they use it? This is only Monday.

So, the next day I get up no I’m not doing anymore early. I don’t do mornings. I may get to work at 430am but I don’t wake until 10 ish that means anytime between 10 and 11 am my brain turns on. Remember I am a gamer and geek.

So, the next day I take the over the river and through the woods drive and I managed to cut down by five minutes on the drive and then I start noticing the scenery and again my brain thought I didn’t know they had strip clubs here and oh my goodness what are those people doing in that car. I turned my head quickly and said in a mantra I don’t want to know keep your eyes on the axel braking potholes, lock your doors and try not to drive too slowly so they don’t think you are inviting them.

Now back to work and they are still boiling water so I brought my own bottles of water. Again, that mistrusting geek Angie gets to work and again two hours later they said the water is now safe.

Although you may wait on the ice until we flush it out. Again, my strange mind says flush it out with what? Again, I don’t want to know. Also, I am not drinking that water and good thing I have two hand sanitizers. Now the drive home is supposed to be pleasant yeah well, no school buses and accident. My brain thinks I’m going to have to get gas and hock something at the rate of the prices of gas.

When I get home, I decide go to bed early, leave early maybe I will miss some of the traffic in crater Ville. So up early what is that noise? Oh, massive thunderstorms this is getting fun. Yeah, I add water an orange to my backpack, maybe pack a picnic who knows. So, crater Ville is still the same but with rain they have closed more roads for flooding oh joy!!

I finally get to the street to turn in the gate and the road is blocked off. There are two fire trucks apparently an accident (everyone is fine a tire blew out) now lucky me I am the head of the pack so I have to do a U-turn in the street to head around the building the other way to another gate. That gate is closed so are all the others. Let’s keep going around the building again warehouse size which takes up maybe two and half blocks. So, I work my way around the building to the first gate and of course only one of the lifts is working and a line of cars so long line and it’s pouring rain.

I am so grateful we have a parking garage wait what is that on the floor and I look up and chunk of ceiling is missing in the concrete garage never mind I found it, I’m parking somewhere else. I am getting paranoid do they not want me to come here. Again, you can’t make this stuff up!!!

So, I want to hear you feedback and comments. Do you have Unbelievable Adventures. Let’s share and laugh 

Angie